Many people decide to end their relationship with alcohol while their significant other is still actively drinking. Although it would be great if all relationships were in sync and we could partner through every goal and challenge together, the reality is we are all different people at varying stages of what we want and don’t want in our lives. We cannot risk waiting for our significant other to be on board with an important goal if we know this is essential for our happiness, health, safety, and well-being. Therefore, if you feel that you want to move on from alcohol, that is a very personal decision that should be pursued regardless of whether your partner will join you.
Keep in mind also that if your success is tied to the journey of another, then so can your lack of success. Don’t put your future in the hands of another’s choices. For example, if your partner loses interest in staying alcohol free, does that mean by default you must drop this goal, as well? Another issue to consider is whether alcohol is interfering in any way with being your best self, since that is likely negatively affecting your relationship already. The opposite can be true, as well; when one partner goes alcohol free that person has a greater positive influence. If you feel that you need to put alcohol aside, then choosing that path will likely be a very healthy step in strengthening your relationship. Continuing to drink will not solve that problem and will more than likely damage your relationship further.
Many people CAN quit drinking on their own, without the support of their other half. Finding some kind of support, community, and accountability can provide a platform for success. Support, community, and accountability are strategies that can help drinkers navigate away from alcohol to a more fulfilling life of freedom. Finding professional, church-based, or community-based support is recommended in order to put aside alcohol and truly discover the person you were meant to be.
The great news is that many significant others resist going alcohol free at first but then witness the amazing transformations their partners go through as they find freedom from psychological slavery. They see their spouse or partner become more productive and creative, find authentic joy again, and dramatically increase their confidence. They may even see their spouse or partner grow closer to God. This transformation is often infectious, influencing loved ones to want to explore going alcohol free (a tangible “put your oxygen mask on first” experience!). Through pursuing this decision on your own and finding success no matter what, you will build your foundation on something sturdy and long-lasting (by learning that regardless of what others do around you, you can succeed). In this way you are strong in your own walk and God’s plan for you.
Ultimately, this is an important personal decision. If you make this choice, it should be because it is the right one for YOU. When you pursue this decision on your own and commit to this process because this is what it takes to create the best version of yourself, then you are building foundation on something sturdy and long-lasting. First, you are choosing to love yourself. This act of self-love radiates into all other areas of your life, including the relationship you have with your significant other. Even more important, you are connecting to something much deeper, as you walk courageously in your own walk with God, experiencing his much better plan for you.